Back In Your Own Backyard with Bryan Smith & his Happy Piano

Dansan Records DS 018 ------- 1979

“The record sleeve is synonymous with the atmosphere created by the record, friendly - happy and gives the listener the wish to ‘get out in their own back yard’ and let themselves go.”..... erm... right?

Curb Your Tongue Knave!

The Smothers Brothers

Mercury 20010 MCL ------- 1963

Not really a howler, but it does have a track called “gnus” and that’s enough for me.

Party Pieces - Mrs Mills

Parlophone PCS 7066 ------ 1968

One of the many Mrs Mills records. This one puts a new spin on Swinging Sixties.

The following gems were sent in by George Boxley. Many thanks George, and keep digging!

Hifi-Stero Festival - Various

Polydor 2482 293 - Circa ’75

Pre Heroin chic. Marketing Department thinks “Anorexic girl in pop socks” will appeal... to whom I ask?

Hotel De Mar - Los Javaloyas

HMV - 7 TKA 2550

A 7” memory to play to your envious friends back in Blighty. Still, it’s easier to carry than a stuffed donkey.

We Could Have Danced All Night - Bill Savill & His Orchestra

Decca - LK 4284 - 1958

Quite a nasty easy listening dance extravaganza, but has a curious cover. The couple appear to be leaving a dirty gurt big house in the suburbs and greeting a surly milkman. Now, if the title be true and they are leaving when the milkman is delivering - just what have they been up to all night? By way of a PS - why is the milkman walking away from the house with milk?

Feeling Fine - Kev Kade

Daviton - WK 30.230

Very Phoenix Nights. And he’s signed this copy. Bless. All perfectly armless fun.

Relax & Listen

Raymond Wallbank At The Organ

Contour 2870 317

Seriously, could you relax if you were her with him on his organ?

She’s also likely to catch her death in Blackpool wearing that outfit.

Gathering Together Unto Him

Live Congregational Praise

Kingsway Music KMR 325

Loving some of the expressions from this crowd of British worshippers. It’s not the British way to be so open with emotion and most of this lot are reserved in their appreciation of this style of Gospel worship.

However - check out the insert! Honestly, I didn’t photoshop this one... Can anyone explain this?

Not only do we have a spooky mask/face but the fellow that is to the right has cartoon eyes from a reflection in his glasses.

Also, rather than “My God” to “Oh My God!” from the chap bottom right!

Renault Truck Workout - RT 1000

An odd promo in lurid green advertising Renault Trucks using ‘The Green Goddess’ of the 80’s, Diana Moran. The A side sees her ‘revving up’ a workout to a weedy synth-pop ‘Jump’, originally sung by The Pointer Sisters. “Going up a gear”,“Use those wipers” and “How’s your spare tyre?” are a few tenuous motoring motifs used. Weird marketing.

Holimarine - New Quay ’79

JDT Audio - HD2 - 1979

A budget Butlins produces their own ‘memory’ featuring various artists and is truly dreadful.

West Side Story / Guys And Dolls

World Record Club T 177

For a conservative company with an aspiring middle class output, I think this cover is pretty brave and commendable.

Young Looking - Palmolive

CBS LSP 13919 - 1980

Just post Punk here’s the ad driver for Palmolive soap. A motley assortment of tracks.

Tony Barton - Stoned

President Records - PRX 27 - 1986

Wearing his finest Christmas jumper, Tony delivers his set to a live audience - were they stoned?

J.J.Stewart - From Obscurity To Oblivion

Nevis - NEV LP 137

A New Faces winner chooses a tongue-in-cheek title whilst wearing velvet dickie bow and cummerbund. How apt that title proved? 

Clyde Sandry & Ray Bevan

Keep The Stones Unemployed

Spectrum - SPE 2501 - 1980

Gospel singers choose an ambitious title.

Rags & Tatters - Neville Dickie & His Ragtime Band

Contour 2870 190 -1972

Similar to the above but with a slightly demonic look

Glasgow Street Songs

Robin Hall & Jimmy MacGregor

Hallmark SHM 698 - 1970

An “interesting” take on Glasgow, 1970.

Tasteful Soul - The Main Ingredient

LSA 3020 - 1971

I can see what they were getting at, but it just isn’t a great advert. The pickled ham is the worst offender and the rest looks like a heart attack. Shame the music isn’t really happening either.

Graham Dalley At The Barn

Hollick & Taylors Studio - HT/LP 1068 1-2 - 1966

The Barn was located near Solihull in the Midlands, a restaurant and cabaret where Mr Dalley (on vibes) had the house band. This record features the band and several “acts”. However, we think the cover is just weird. The rear states, “thanks to you, the customers, for buying it.” I found two copies - sealed!

Gray & Spicy. Boom! Boom! - Ugly Dave Gray

Crest International - CRIN-TV-123

Australia’s answer to Bernard Manning.

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Still Hazy, After All These Beers - Bob Williamson

EMI - One Up

Comedy club singer with asppirations.